


She came back

by His WHOREcrux



Category: Zoey 101
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-05-26
Updated: 2006-08-12
Packaged: 2013-09-30 09:14:20
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,205
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2958410/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039520/His-WHOREcrux
Summary: Logan spent last summer in paris. Dana spent last semester there. Now they're both at PCA. But what happened in Paris never stays in Paris...





	1. Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise

A/N: Yes, it's short. Yes it's lame. But i'm ill, tired and cranky. So please, no flames right now

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Chapter 1 

A tall girl with sexy curls in her hair and an even sexier smirk stepped out of a cab, and back onto the familiar concrete of Pacific Coast Academy. She looked over at a blonde girl and a curly-haired guy, who had only been there a day and were already making out on a bench. She rolled her eyes, brushing past them. It wasn't that she didn't want to see them…she just had someone else in mind for her first hello.

Logan's POV

I stepped out of my limo a few hours after leaving the airport. Summer vacation in Paris ended the morning before, and as usual my father had given me a sending off gift. This year's was a little strange, but Dad said Genevieve chose it. He likes Genevieve… therefore any hideous gifts my soon-to-be step mom chooses, I have to adore.

In case you're wondering, yes she's French, and yes, my father only met her this year. Four months ago actually. Not that I complained, since it meant spending the summer in Paris. That place has so many memories for me, most of them good, but one particularly bad. That was why I hated the gold watch from The Eiffel Tower Jewellers. It reminded me of that night….

Dana's POV

The whole point of the Student Exchange programme was to spend a semester abroad, then come back. People were supposed to welcome you with open arms, and it wasn't supposed to be awkward…after all you were supposed to have kept in touch with all of those so-called friends.

Surprisingly, the only 'friend' to bother contacting me was Logan. From a million miles away, he's actually a really decent guy. He gave me all of the updates, telling me everything. Granted, there was stuff I didn't wanna know, like which girls he dated etc, but at least when I returned I was prepared for Zoey and Chase to be together, and I was prepared to meet Freaky Lola, as Logan called her.

When he told me he was coming to France, I was so happy. I got everything ready for his stay. He sent me pictures of him as he packed, then from the plane, then from the airport. It must have cost a lot to text from where he was, but I guess cost didn't really matter to him. I was planning his visit for weeks… I dunno, I thought maybe the old spark might be there. I never wanted to stomp on his foot at the dance last year. I just wanted to see if I could hurt him… maybe see if he actually cared.

I guess, from the way he acted back in France that I was wrong. He didn't care. He never cared.


	2. I don't know how to love him

Hey guys! Aww man, the holidays are over. That sucks. But at least i'm back, and i've updated! It's very short, i know, but you're just gonna have to deal with that :D You may hate it, you may love it. Comment. Tell me why :)

Thanks for all your feedback and remember, I don't own Zoey 101!

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The dark-eyed beauty sat on a bench outside his old dorm. She hadn't found him. She really didn't know if she wanted to find him either, because she knew they both had a lot to say. She got up and looked around, then saw him walking towards the quad. She sighed, but her feet took control and steered her towards the boy whose image had haunted her waking hours. He didn't notice her, in fact he was the only boy who didn't notice her. His head was down, looking at the ground. He was like a shadow of his former self…the arrogance was still there, but the pain showed much clearer on his face. The boy had changed, he'd let himself get hurt. The girl flinched at the look in his eyes. She knew that she'd put that pain there.

Logan's POV

I unpacked my suitcases in about 3 hours. Obviously I had a lot of stuff… expensive stuff. Getting my heart broken didn't change the fact that I was better off than most people at PCA. Although, I had left some stuff at home. The most flashy stuff was in a box in my room, cos after my trip to France I had a feeling I wouldn't be needing to impress anyone. When Dana wasn't there, I flirted with everyone, trying to kid myself that I didn't need her. Yeah, I kept in touch and all, but I figured that if she could leave so easily, then she probably didn't want me. And I was fine for a while, until she met Pierre. Ugh. Pierre. She would go ON and ON about Pierre, like he was some freaking minor deity. It just made me want to fly out there and talk some sense into her. Losing her, like, really losing her scared me. So I started being nice…and honest… and I tried to show her that she would have been better with me. Then I got to France, and I realised something. You can't lose what you never had, especially if it belongs to someone else.

Dana's POV

I still blame myself, although a little part of me thinks that it was Logan. Logan never asked… never. When I met Pierre, that's when the problems started. I would tell Logan…I would try to get a reaction out of him, but no. Nothing. He obviously didn't give a damn. Then something unexpected happened. I fell hard for Pierre. I loved Logan, but Pierre was available, he was perfect, and he was in Paris. I never forgot Logan., but Pierre… well he sent me flowers and poetry. Stuff I would have laughed at before, but given to me while his sexy voice whispered in my ears about the stars and philosophy, somehow became beautiful. After a few months I realised that I loved him. I just wasn't in love with him. I loved the way he treated me… but he never made me feel like Logan could, and he never made me angry. I think I broke two hearts in one summer… does that make me a bitch?

Oh. Yes it does.


	3. I hope to God he was worth it

**Yeah yeah, it's been a while i know. I'm debating whether to carry on this fic, or whether to write more oneshots. I'm not sure i really like the way this one is going. Anyway, thanks for the comments--if you want me to keep writing this tell me. If you have a different idea for what i should write, give a comment to explain why.**

**Oh, and i like to hear the good and bad points. An honest critic, if you please. 'This is rele good!' doesn't exactly inspire me lol. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the clothes on my back. :)**

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Chapter 3

Nobody's POV

The girl sighed as she watched him drop his last suitcase, then drew in her breath as she saw the framed photo that he had been staring at. She stopped walking, to afraid to face him. She wasn't the same girl that he'd wanted to get with. She wasn't the same girl that had hurt him more than she ever realised she could. She was just a girl, too afraid to face what she had walked away from.

So she walked away again.

Dana's POV

I knew I was going to be leaving about a month before my first semester ended. I figured it would be easier not to tell Zoey or Nicole what was going on, but there was one person I had to tell.

I was running at the track listening to my walkman when it hit me. When I left, I would be free. No more hiding my feelings for Logan, no more flashes of pain whenever he said "Wanna make out?" in that stupid nonchalant way. Then again…no Logan. No more secret smirks when he thought he'd got one over on me, no warm feeling when he passed me the ball and we helped beat the crap out of every team that faced us. We were like this unbreakable partnership on the court… but off it we were like rivals.

As I thought about all the memories, my heart began to beat faster and faster. Finally I knew I had to stop, but I couldn't. After another lap or so I realised that I was running away from the truth- that I cared about Logan. With that realisation I passed out.

When I came to he was holding my hand, telling me to wake up and shouting into his cell phone. Logan had come for me…my Logan had come. He saw I was awake, and he actually smiled. I don't know… I think that was when I realised how much I really loved him.

As I came to, he said to me "Probably the stress, D. Don't worry, in a few weeks you'll be away from California, tanning by a pool and chilling with a diet coke"

My head was killing me. I muttered "Do they sell coke in France?".

He laughed. "Of course. Why, you going there for the summer?"

I laughed, then stopped as it sunk in. I whispered "I'm moving there Logan."

Then next thing I knew, he was the one running away.

After that he avoided me. He wouldn't tell anyone why, let alone me… until a few months ago, that is. The next time we were in contact was through an email. He was the first to write to me, but sometimes I wish he hadn't bothered. That first email was full of news about the girls he'd been with etc… and it was as if he was deliberately telling me details to hurt me, even though he didn't know my secret.

Now I think about it, maybe he did care. Maybe that's why he's so different now. Maybe I really did hurt him in France. Maybe…just maybe that's why I was too afraid to face him my first day back. In fact, that's probably why things are how they are now, considering we've spoken twice since.

Logan's POV

She thinks it's all going to be OK. Just one "Hello", and I'm supposed to fall at her feet. Admittedly, those two syllables did have quite an effect on me. Then I remembered where those lips were, and what they were doing the last time I saw her.

She arranged that we should meet at the Eiffel Tower 'to discuss the future'.

I got there knowing that there was a possibility she would tell me I was wrong, and that she didn't love me. I asked her, you know. Gave her a red rose, romanced her in the most beautiful city in the world. Unfortunately, I guess romance isn't that magical to girls like Dana unless you happen to be French.

I asked her to answer my question. Did she love me or him? She told me she loved us both in different ways, and she was only herself trying to figure it all out. The out of the blue she called and asked me to meet her. When I got there, she was in his arms, kissing him. Pierre, the French guy. That was all the answer I needed, and enough to make me walk away. She saw me go, and tried to stop me. She tried to call me and email me and even write to me, but I couldn't bring myself to reply. My heart was broken, and yet I still loved her with all of the little pieces. I guess it's ironic- the person you love the most is the person who can hurt you the most. I've taken a lot of crap from my dad, and even from Chase and Michael over the years… they can't hurt me. She had the power to break me, and she abused that power. For that I couldn't forgive her…but I couldn't forget her either. All I wanted was for her never to have left, and for her to never have met Pierre, and for her to have meant it when she said those three words.

I Love You.

Je t'aime.

Whatever.

I'm cynical… but I think I have a right to be.


	4. Sugar We're Going down

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, like i said, I wasn't sure whether to continue. Had a flash of inspiration last night so decided to write the next chapter. There's probably only gonna be one more chapter- from nobody's POV.**

**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers i love you all :D**

**And State of Pandemonium, thanks for the comment on my oneshot. Yeah, my pen name is from a Panic! At The Disco song lol. **

**Disclaimer: Do i really have to tell you i dont own it? You should know by now lol.**

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**Nobody's POV**

She saw him again a few days later, and she couldn't avoid him that time. She walked right into him as he came around the corner. She was daydreaming of the city of love, and what might have been… it was like the memory of that night had been engraved into her heart with a bittersweet reminder, and she couldn't get it out of her head. He had seen her coming, she realised as he blushed and tried to act nonchalant about their collision. He had been walking, and staring, and wishing. Just as she had. She bent down to pick up her bag, just as he leant down to get it for her. Their hands touched, and they both pulled away. The touch had set them both on fire. And so, they realised that they had to deal with the problem before it got out of hand. After all, it wasn't like it had been love, nobody had had their heart broken…or had they?

**Dana's POV**

Logan Reese meant so much to me. It was stupid to go to Paris. I realise that now. Although, if I hadn't gone, he may not have had the chance to miss me, or the chance to care. I don't know why I agreed to go. I guess I was running away, and the extra place in the exchange program gave me an excuse.

I got scared, ok? The infamous 'Danger' Cruz was scared of loving somebody. And yeah, I said loving. I know I'm only young still, but that feeling was way more than infatuation. It was way too strong to be anything else. Ever since that night, I've wished that Pierre had understood.

Before I went to meet Logan at the ET, I dropped in on Pierre. We talked for a while, and soon I started to get irritated by how passive and calm he was. I started to try and make him angry… it's an old habit I guess, to try and whip up some form of passion that I know I can equal. But… I don't know, Pierre just didn't want to fight. That was what I needed… I needed him to hate me. In the end, I told him I loved him, but not in the kind of way that meant we should be together. He followed me to the ET…it turns out his English didn't extend to the sentence "I just want to be friends".

He proceeded to stick his tongue down my throat, giving a whole new meaning to the term 'French Kiss'.

Of course, Logan had to witness it. By the time I'd realised what Pierre was doing and pulled away, Logan was running away. Running out of my life, just like I'd run out of his over a year before. I tried calling, I tried everything.

He would have nothing to do with me. I convinced myself he didn't care, and that was why he didn't wait. Now I'm finding that it probably wasn't the case. I think he tried to hate me, but couldn't bring himself to stop caring. Now I hate myself for hurting him, and I wish he could love me.

That way, he might forgive me, even if he doesn't forget.

**Logan's POV**

She's still beautiful. She's just…Dana, you know? So gorgeous, and perfect that it hurts to look at her. And she's smart. Brains and beauty. She's got this amazingly quick wit, this edge of sarcasm to her voice and an incredibly naughty little giggle. In France, I saw her laugh, I saw her smile, I saw her dance, I saw her sparkle….

I saw her cry.

I don't think she knew I saw. It was our second day there. I kissed her… it was stupid, considering what I knew about Pierre, but I needed to. Weird, huh? I just felt this overwhelming urge to protect her, and to hold her… Later that night she broke up with Pierre. She did it over the phone, speaking in French. Little did she know how many French lessons I took in preparation for the visit. Little did she know the YEARS of French I'd endured due to my dad's tendency to date French girls. Little did she know that I was as fluent as she was, and I heard every word.

I don't know what his answer was, but I think she accidentally convinced him he could win her back.

I heard her say she loves me.

I love Logan way too much.

Those were her exact words… in French of course.

I think that scared her… I mean it certainly scared me. I tried to convince myself she was just saying it. I even tried to tell myself that I didn't feel just as strongly about her.

The next few days were the best of my life. No more kissing…we were pretending we were friends. Lots of banter, sarcastic quips and a few cheesy lines thrown in from my direction. Of course, a lot of French girls checked me out, but I wasn't interested. I had Dana! DANA CRUZ! Why would I need anyone else?

Thinking about it, we just seemed to fit. Even when we weren't together… we were TOGETHER, like we'd known each other forever. That spark's still there. I've felt it since coming back here to PCA. I think maybe…just maybe befriending her again, making peace with her might actually be OK. I mean, I'd get to spend time with her, even if she did go back to Pierre when she supposedly loved me.

It will hurt, but maybe she'll learn to love me the way I love her. If not…well I don't know what I'll do. She still has my heart, or what's left of it. I may well give the rest to her, see what she does. She's strong enough to stand spending time with me without breaking down, and Reese men don't cry. So…friends.

I just want her to be happy again. She looks so pretty when she smiles…


	5. Goodbye, Goodbye

Hey guys :D

I just wanted to thank you for all the encouraging comments you guys wrote me... I'm gonna carry on with this fic, and maybe make it my first long one, cos i've been having ideas :D

Without all of ur support, i probably wouldve given up, but now it's summer and you all inspired me to keep going so i love you all very much :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101... blah blah blah

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**Chapter 5**

_Dana's POV_

I've done a lot of thinking these past couple of weeks. It's been a total roller coaster of emotions which has got me acting very out of character… but I don't know. Maybe it wasn't how I was expected to act… but maybe it was how I really am, when I'm not pretending to be strong. So much has happened over the last year and I really don't know where to begin.

I knew we had to talk about happened. But… I just wasn't really ready for what he said. I mean, it was Logan! I expected him to deny he felt anything… be tough. I expected him to at least pretend he was OK. In fact… the first words he said, when we were finally somewhere quiet told me the opposite.

"Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm OK. I'm not going to say I'm happy about what happened, but I do love you. And that means I want to be with you and spend time with you, even if it's only on friendly terms, OK? So…we need to talk about this."

I didn't expect him to be so honest. He looked so vulnerable.

I told him everything. I just started talking, and I couldn't stop. He didn't interrupted me either… he just placed his hand on top on mine when I finally finished. Tingles ran up my arm.

Ooh la la.

_Logan's POV_

I spent about 4 hours in front of the mirror the night before. 'Big surprise' I hear you say… well I wasn't just reassuring myself of my hotness (although Dana did make me doubt it a little). I was practicing what to say to her. As it happened, I bumped into her the day after. I forgot everything I planned to say… I forgot every cool brush-off I'd tried to perfect for the moment when she tried to apologise.

Damn it!

She sat down… and said my name under her breath. She probably didn't even know I heard her say it. But it made my stomach turn over. The butterflies down there started to race around and I felt a little sick.

She told me the whole story from her point of view.

About how she only wanted Pierre cos he was available.

About how she really wanted me the whole time.

About how she broke up with him.

About how HE kissed HER.

'Yeah. Right.' The annoying voice in my head told me that she didn't have to kiss him back, that she didn't pull away. I ignored the voice…

I placed my hand on hers. She looked up at me, with big eyes. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. I shut my eyes involuntarily. It was the same look I'd seen on her face when she saw me watching her and Pierre on the tower. I didn't want to remember that night. She looked at me again…she seemed confused. I just felt completely out of it… because in my mind all I could see was flashbacks of the last time that look was on her face.

"Hey Dana, that you up there?"

"No, Logan!"

"Dana!"

"It's not what you think, Logan, wait"

…

"Screw you Dana Cruz, screw you!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"So what? That's NOT ENOUGH… You hear me? NOT ENOUGH! "

The voices in my head replayed over and over until soon I felt the room spinning. Voices whispered inside my brain

" You know she chose him"

No. She didn't mean to.

"She left you, pretty boy"

She had to go to France. It was an opportunity!

"Not such a player now are we?"

Leave me alone! Go away!

"Not even your family cares about you"

Dana does, my mom does!

"Dana doesn't care, nobody cares"

NO!

Dana grabbed my hand again. "Logan, Logan, are you ok?" I guess I shouted out loud…

Suddenly the room wasn't spinning.

Dana was sitting extremely close.

Oh boy. She leaned in closer and closer…

And finally our lips touched. And mon dieu, it was like fireworks.

I leaned into the kiss, pushing her against the back of the chair. I hooked my finger into the pocket of her jeans, pushing the images of her and Pierre out of my head.

The kisses got rougher, and rougher…and fiery, and passionate, and bruising. I bit her lip, cutting her smooth mouth and making her moan with something I can only describe as painful pleasure. I got that metallic bloody taste on my tongue. Yeah, Logan…. make her bleed, I thought to myself. I dug my thumb into her side, and she whimpered. Not so strong now, eh Cruz?

The room was spinning again. Any second I felt like I would faint. Was it just me, or was it getting hot in there?

I love you… I whispered it into her ear, and murmured it again as I kissed her. I kissed the words into her cheek, and her mouth, and her shoulder, and the top of her neck.

By now we were on the floor, my head and heart were throbbing. I thought I was probably dying, but hey, at least I'd be dying happy…

Then she mumbled something sexy in French. I scowled as I thought to myself, 'probably something Pierre taught her'. I pushed her roughly of the chair and into the wall… once again she seemed to like the pain. I kissed her hard on the mouth, harder and harder, reopening the cut. Her hands were wandering all over my body and mine were probably doin the same. I ran my fingers through her hair and grabbed her ass, and dug my thumb into the hollow of her back. This time I felt her wince, felt the pain it had somehow caused her. I no longer cared, I knew it wasn't physical pain but I was so dizzy that I couldn't stop. Then she groaned the magic word…

"Pierre…"

Then BANG. No more dizziness. No pain. No world. Oblivion.

_Nobody's POV_

She had that look on her face again. She wasn't quite sure what had happened. One minute he was kissing her… and dominating her. The next minute… the spell had broken. And he… well… he looked broken. The kissing had felt kind of surreal…but it felt right.

He was punishing her. That's what it felt like. Punishing her for the pain she caused him. He'd seemed really out of it. His hands were everywhere, and in the heat of the moment, he'd found her weakness. That place… the hollow of her back that was a constant reminder of Pierre when she glimpsed it in the mirror.

She'd said the wrong name. She only realisedher mistakeonce he told her.

He'd seemed to blink, and recover from whatever emotional turmoil his brain had been in.

"You called me by his name."

She snapped back to reality…

He stood there staring at her, his voice dulled as if he'd been drugged and his eyes heavy with pain and regret.

She started to speak, then shook her head and said softly. "Well you know what… the whole night, and you've avoided saying mine".

He looked into her eyes.

"So?"

"So say it, Logan. Say my name…"

He seemed to think for a moment. He muttered something to himself... telling himself he didn't need her. Her eyes pleaded with him. Slowly and deliberately, he stepped back from her.

He straightened up, shrugged, then smirked.

That's when she knew she'd probably just lost him again. The return of the smirk.

He rolled his eyes, and took a deep breath. Then, making sure to emphasize the use of her name said,

"Goodbye… DANA."


	6. I'm Falling into Memories of You

**Hey :D Yeah, it's me. So...i continued the fic. Just cos i love you :D**

**I'm gonna be starting a Life With Derek fic soon, but right now i'm focusing on this one...**

**Disclaimer: I own my OC Elise Maxwell (Warning: she will be very important to my story) but unfotunately, that's all i got :( If i did own Zoey 101, Dana and Logan would be sucking face on our screens right now :)

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**Chapter 6**

_Dana's POV_

Of all the scenarios that I'd expected to come out of that conversation, Logan's goodbye was probably the most difficult for me to deal with.

Goodbye?

What the hell?

He said he loved me. When you love someone, you can't just forget about them, or say goodbye just like that!

Oh.

You know what? I just realised something. The whole goodbye thing… it's exactly what I did to Pierre. I told him I loved him, kissed him…then said goodbye. I tried to forget about him.

I guess that's what got me into all this trouble in the first place.

If only Logan hadn't touched me _there._

I didn't handle that all too well. Logan was so surprised, but then again how was he supposed to know what that tiny gesture would do to me?

Ugh. My thoughts are all over the place!

I guess I should explain. One night in my second week with Pierre (before we became a couple), we were out by the Eiffel Tower. I loved that tower… I used to go there all of the time when I was feeling sad, or just needed to think. It reminded me of Logan, not just because I usually went there to think about him, but because it was the tallest place I could get to- and when I was up there, breathing in the night air and looking at the stars… it was like I was with him, because I knew he had watched the same moon, and the same stars. It had a sort of sentimental feel to it. Logan visited the tower every time he went to Paris to look at the stars- he told me that when we were playing basketball back in the first year. Logan loved Paris, and I was determined to love it too. Unfortunately, without Logan that was a pretty hard thing to do. I guess that's why I thought drinking would help.

Pierre was 2 years older than me, and he felt like my best friend. He listened to me, and made me feel almost happy when I was really missing Logan and my friends. He bought some wine that night, and we sat on a bench near the tower drinking. Most people didn't think it was a big deal- after all, the French kids are brought up to like and respect alcohol. Than again, I wasn't French.

The alcohol got to me pretty quickly and I remember being really ill the next day. Pierre came and looked after me, telling me I still looked beautiful and making jokes to try and make me forget my hangover. He told my parents I was probably reacting to the food at dinner the night before, and they believed him because my parents liked Pierre even more than I did. They were thrilled when we finally got together, although my dad hit the roof when he found out what had happened that night. It seems Pierre told him one thing that happened… even if he didn't mention I was drunk.

I can't even remember now what we did… I was drunk and miserable. Pierre made me smile, and I loved him for it. I guess that explains why the next day, when my father came in screaming at me to show him my back, and he found a henna tattoo. It was a heart, with Pierre's name in it.

I couldn't even remember getting it done, but my dad went ballistic… he spent hours trying to scrub it off… even using this bleach stuff, but it wouldn't go away. In the end, he scrubbed so hard that I got little blisters… and I still have a heart shaped scar on my back today.

Pierre loved my scar… he used to kiss it and stroke it and say that it meant I could never forget him. And man… he was right.

Logan touched the scar… and I realised that I couldn't forget Pierre. No matter how hard I tried, Pierre was big part of my life. Part of me wanted to hold on to his memory always…but another part of me blames him for the mess I'm currently in.

I just wonder… is remembering and appreciating Pierre worth losing Logan? I mean, I loved them both…

I just don't know what to do anymore.

_Logan's POV_

I think I handled that pretty well.

Oh, who am I kidding? That went horribly! She said HIS NAME. That was the final straw for me. I guess she only wanted me because I'm here… even though her heart lies in Paris with that French asshole.

But you know what? I think I'm gonna be OK. It's like, now I have a reason to hate her again. I can ignore how much I love her… and just hate her. I can be myself again- I can be the Logan I was before Dana came along and screwed with my head. It's not that she isn't worth waiting for, and of course I'd love her to be mine, but my heart is beginning to hurt and… I don't know, I guess I want to make sure she's in as much pain as I am. It doesn't sound possible, does it? Well, it isn't likely. For me to be able to hurt her… well that would imply that she felt something for me.

She was right though. I never did say her name. It hurt too much, like whenever I said it all of the love would rush to my heart and bring back all the memories. I guess I thought that if I never said her name, I could pretend she was just another hot girl I wanted to get with… it didn't really work, but I was surprised she noticed.

It was such a strange feeling. She said _his_ name… and suddenly, it was like 'BANG' the world disappeared… it was just me, falling into a dark pit of hopeless despair. I felt really dizzy, as if I was gonna faint. I just felt so out of it…

Maybe realising how much she can hurt me is what brought on this change in my attitude. I don't know. But whatever brought it on, the old Logan is back and better than ever. Everyone will see that I'm OK without her, and nobody will know how much it'll hurt me not to love her.

Anyway, thanksgiving is coming up soon. I heard Dana's visiting her parents back in Virginia, or wherever it is she came from. I'm staying here at PCA- my dad's in France and I'm sure as hell not going there. Too many memories… I'm just not ready for it.

I guess all I can do now is pretend nothing ever happened. See how she likes that…

Yeah. Goodbye Dana. Haha. She's gonna wish she loved me when she had the chance…

Nobody's POV

6 kids sat at a round table in the lunchroom. Zoey Brooks and Chase Matthews were holding hands, and flirting in their own little innocent way. Zoey fed her boyfriend grapes with her free hand as he grinned down at her.

Nicole played around with her salad, and chatted to Quinn about making her some hair extensions for when she went home for Thanksgiving. Michael teased her about wanting to impress some cute guy back home, and Nicole's face went red as she tried to deny it.

Dana Cruz sat at the end of the table… waiting.

One member of the group was missing. They all noticed, but all knew not to bring it up. In fact, the Logan/Dana saga seemed to have been forgotten by the rest of the group, who had marked it down to a summer fling. They all thought she'd moved on…

A familiar laugh made Dana's head turn. Logan stood by the fountain talking to Elise Maxwell. It figured. Elise was blonde, slim, gorgeous… plus she was the best actress in their class. She'd transferred from somewhere in Michigan earlier in the semester and had been making eyes at Logan ever since. She was giggling, with her hand on his shoulder. He was shrugging nonchalantly and describing his basketball expertise… Dana watched, horrified as Logan invited her to go watch their next game. Logan turned towards Dana, and she turned around quickly. Logan smiled a sad smile, then smirked at Elise as she kissed his cheek and walked over to her friends. He walked towards his friends, winking at a pretty redhead on the way. As he sat down, Dana got up to go.

"Where you going, Cruz?" he asked flippantly.

She glared at him. After all, he was purposely trying to hurt her.

"None of your business, Logan. Anywhere away from you!"

Logan smirked at her.

"You know you want me, Dana."

Dana's eyes grew wide. _Deer in headlights again_, thought Logan.

He faltered over her name a little, but Dana didn't notice. She dropped her purse and sprinted away.

The gang all turned to Logan, looking surprised. He shrugged, and rolled his eyes.

Michael sighed. The old Logan had returned.


	7. I Am On Your Side

**Hey Guys :D**

**Another fast update! lol :) Anyways, this chapter is a little strange :P**

**My suggestion: Listen to it with the song that the chapter is named after. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101, or I am On Your Side by Hawthorne Heights. I do however, own EliseMaxwell, my OC :D**

**Enjoy!

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**

**Chapter 7**

_Nobody's POV_

_I never meant to hurt you  
Sometimes these thoughts have a way making sense  
Secrets that we keep turn into accidents  
If you burn away the bonds with the fires of selfishness  
The positive the negative have a way of making ends_

Dana went up to the roof of the girls' dorms. It was a good roof, it got plenty of sun and was almost as good for tanning as the beach on hot days. She hadn't spent a lot of time up there since getting back to PCA. Zoey, Nicole, Lola and even Quinn now spent a lot of time up there. They had become like a little foursome… attracting a lot of attention from guys- even Quinn, who had grown into her beauty and stopped being such a freak! Dana hated that attention…and slowly she had stopped needing to make excuses for hanging out with them. They all had lunch together usually, but sometimes Lola had Drama Club and sometimes Dana skipped lunch to avoid Logan.

Her usual haunts were the track and basketball courts… but she didn't want to risk going there. They would be way too obvious- after all Logan was bound to come looking for her… wasn't he?

Obviously not… she realised three hours later, when she saw Elise running out of the dorms to greet him.

"Slut." She muttered under her breath as Logan put his hand in Elise's back pocket, and started to massage her butt.

Logan cracked some corny joke, and Elise giggled. Dana blinked back tears, letting out a choked sob and laying back on a sun lounger, to cry in peace.

_End this now, we've gone too far  
Let's take back words that turned to scars  
If I could find a way to turn back time  
Had to let you know I'm on your side_

Logan sighed to himself as her glanced up at the roof. He hadn't seen Dana anywhere… he was beginning to be a little worried. His excuse for looking for her was returning her purse… but really he just needed to see that she was OK. As he stood outside the building, the doors were thrown open. Elise ran out and threw herself at him. "Logan, you're early!"

He groaned inwardly. He'd forgotten he'd said she could come watch the game that night…

He pulled away and flashed his cocky grin at her. "I just couldn't get enough of you babe…" Elise giggled. Man, her laugh was irritating!

As he turned to go, he glanced up at the roof, and saw the sun reflecting in somebody's caramel curls. He blinked in shock, thinking he'd imagined it until he heard the unmistakable sound of Dana playing her 'Angry Music'. Hawthorne Heights blared out from the top of the Dorm Hall.

Elise wrinkled her nose as she pulled him away. "Goths on the roof again" She said rolling her eyes. "It went on for hours yesterday too!"

Logan shot her a nasty look. Elise looked taken aback.

"What?"

"It's….its not… goth… look- it's not goth music, they're my favourite band, ok? Can we just change the subject"

Elise looked at him surprised… "What do you wanna talk about then, Reese?"

_Took the easy way out I showed my self doubt  
The only way to ease the pain is to drink until I drown  
I'll say it out loud my voice is the only sound  
So listen up, I'll spell it out  
I need your help, I need it now_

_Logan's POV_

God, she sounded like Dana when she said that. I shook that thought out of my head, and tried to block out the sound of that song. I am On Your Side. To me…that was always our song. I never told her, but I've listened to it every night since we kissed.

Elise kept up an easy conversation until we got to the courts. I bought her a soda, and showed her to a seat where she'd get a good view of me. Then I slowly made my way to the changing rooms.

I undressed quickly, and looked at my reflection in a bathroom mirror as I pulled on my uniform. I played with my hair for a few minutes, feeling a little restless. I hadn't played in the team since last semester. This year, I was way too busy with other stuff… like wallowing and moping mainly.

From what Zoey said, Dana hadn't even tried out for the team that year. So when I stepped out into the Player's Lounge where we had our team talks, I was shocked to see her sitting there. She was chatting to the coach, holding her uniform in her hands. She grinned at him, and brushed past me out of the door as she went to change. She pretended like she didn't know me, and I guess I did the same. As she brushed past, I could smell her shampoo. Shivers ran up my spine. She still smelled the same…

_End this now, we've gone too far  
Let's take back words that turned to scars  
If I could find a way to turn back time  
Had to let you know I'm on your side_

I walked back out of the lounge a few minutes later, and burst into the Girls' changing room. Dana was in there alone, looking into the mirror with a sad look on her face. Before I could say anything, she said calmly "You're not supposed to be in here". She didn't turn away from the mirror for a few seconds, but when she did I felt like I'd stopped breathing. She looked…beautiful. She had her hair in a ponytail, but straightened. She had absolutely no make-up on, and looked just the way she used to. I was a little lost for words.

"Can I help you?" she asked softly…

_Dana's POV_

_Am I now everything that you wanted me to be  
tried my best took a shot in the dark and I lost_

I tried to act cool, as if him being there didn't bother me. I mean, I'd expected to see him- after all he was the best player on the team… but I hadn't expected him to be in the Girls' Locker Room.

"Can I help you?" I asked. He looked like he wanted to say something important. I tried to make it come out all businesslike… but I couldn't, so I practically whispered it to him.

He reached into his bag and pulled out my purse. He threw it to me, but for once I didn't catch it. A piece of paper fell out as I picked it up. As I bent down to pick it up, Logan smirked at me and said "Come on, you're on the basketball team! You catch like-" his voice trailed off. I stood up, confused. As I readjusted my uniform I realised what had happened.

My top had risen up as I bent down.

"What the hell?"

I shook my head sadly at him.

"It's called a scar Logan."

He looked confused. "From what? Does it hurt?"

I sighed and grabbed my bag.

"Its from a mistake… and yes it does hurt, not physically, but emotionally".

Logan looked at me tenderly…

Then he seemed to mentally shake himself.

He scowled.

Then he ran out as quickly as he'd come in.

And for once… I didn't cry. I was strong.

I was angry.

I looked at the piece of paper I'd picked up. It was some photo booth photos from our first year. Me and Logan, grinning, then fighting, then flirting as the camera snapped away.

I threw it to the ground and kicked the wall.

The mirror fell off, smashing into tiny pieces...

Great. Just great.

…_End this now  
We've gone too far  
let's take back words that turned to scars  
If I could find a way to turn back time  
Had to let you know I'm on your side_


	8. Ghost Of A Good Thing

**Hey :D**

**Me again! Thanks for revieing guys, i write this just for you **

**Be warned: This chapter has a higher rating because of some mild sex references and swearing at the end :D**

**It is best read while listening to 'Ghost of a Good Thing' by Dashboard Confessional.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101 or Dashboard Confessional (-oh but i wish i did ). I do however, own my OCs Elise and Johnny Maxwell.

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**

**Chapter 8 **

**Nobody's POV**

_I guess it's luck, but it's the same  
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame  
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said  
"Love is like a role that we play." _

They'd settled back into a somewhat familiar routine. _Like going back in time._ Dana would say to Quinn, a wry smile on her face. Logan would insult her and generally put her down, and she would try to find a witty comeback.

It was the same as it was before… it just felt different. It wasn't good-natured banter. It was spiteful, each word falling like acid into her ears. Gone was the flirty chorus of 'Wanna make out?". Dana told herself she didn't miss it. Trouble was, she did miss it. She missed it like she missed holding his hand, like she missed the feel of his lips.

She couldn't even see him on the courts anymore. After smashing the mirror in the girls' room, she'd been lucky to even be allowed to continue with the semester. The principal had wanted her suspended- he'd suggested sending her for Thanksgiving break a little early. Thank God the coach had had a word with him. She was off the team until Christmas, but she was allowed to stay in school as long as she attended 'Anger Management' sessions. They didn't understand that she wasn't angry… she was hurt. And lonely.

_But, I believe in you so much  
I could die for the words that you say  
But, I believe in you so much  
I could die from the words that you say _

But, you're chasing the ghost of a good thing  
Haunting yourself as the real thing  
It's getting away from you again  
While you're chasing ghosts

She couldn't remember the last time Logan had smiled at her. There were plenty of smirks… she hated them because they'd replaced the smiles.

He didn't smile at anyone anymore. He seemed to just wander around, flirting with girls and then never following through. He wasn't a cheat, Dana noticed. He'd flirt with other girls, but he was usually faithful to Elise.

_Usually_. Dana mused as she sat in the Guidance Office, and saw him outside the window. Her heart beat faster as she saw his caress the cheek of the pretty redhead. She had curly hair and a sexy curves… Dana felt physically sick as Logan ran his fingers through her hair, playing with the ringlets. He'd done the same to her once.

As Dana stared at the pair, the Anger Management Councillor opened her door.

Logan kissed the girl lightly on the lips, and Dana threw a magazine at the window.

The Anger management woman cleared her throat. Dana whirled around, looking sheepish.

"It slipped?" She tried… and the councillor shook her head.

_Oh boy. _Dana thought under her breath.

**Dana's POV**

_I guess it's luck, but it's the same  
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame  
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said  
"Love is like a role that we play."_

Allison Johnson. That's my AM Councillor. She's tall, blonde, pretty. Way too smiley. Could potentially annoy me by breathing. Needless to say, she didn't make the greatest of first impressions.

But I don't suppose I did either.

She didn't look surprised to find me throwing the magazine at the window.

I was in that office for about an hour.

She asked a lot of pointless questions about France. I told her some stuff. A little about Pierre, and our friendship (not mentioning the obvious unhappy ending). I told her how it felt to come back when I knew I'd probably been replaced. I told her how much I hated not being allowed to play basketball.

Then she brought up the inevitable. The boy outside the window.

"Miss Cruz, is it possible that these feelings you're trying to hide are making you angry?"

I looked at her, giving her the 'Danger' Cruz Death Glare. She looked a little scared. Hehe.

I didn't know how to answer her question…so I just stayed quiet.

After a few minutes I think she gave up any hope of me answering, and seemed to think about something.

"It seems to me that you're trying to cut yourself off from everyone, especially your friends. Now, the basketball team have a party tonight, to celebrate making it to some sort of tournament. You're gonna go, and you're gonna socialise.

Tomorrow, when I see you I want to discuss the things that make you angry. The things which make you upset. I think we can fix this."

She gave me a wide, fake smile.

I rolled my eyes, then walked out.

_But, I believe in you so much  
I could die for the words that you say  
But, I believe in you so much  
I could die from the words that you say_

A party? Hell no. Logan would be there!

Then again… Logan would be there. I'm not saying I wanted revenge… but…

OK. I wanted revenge.

I arrived at the party late. I didn't see him anywhere. I gotta admit, I was a little scared. I grabbed a cup of punch and downed it. Ugh. It had alcohol in it.

I smiled to myself. Maybe that was just what I needed.

A guy next to the punch was watching me with interest. He held out a flask, and raised an eyebrow at me.

I took the flask, and swigged from it, liking the way the fiery liquid cascaded down my throat. It seemed to numb everything a little.

The guy grinned. "Johnny. Johnny Maxwell." He said, winking.

Maxwell? I took another swig, ignoring the obvious connection my brain was making.

Then he led me away from everyone, to the dorms upstairs.

I didn't give a damn what happened.

I think at that point I was already wasted…and too upset to care.

_But, you're chasing the ghost of a good thing  
Haunting yourself as the real thing  
It's getting away from you again  
While you're chasing ghosts_

**Logan's POV**

I arrived at the party with Elise. She looked just as hot as usual, but when I kissed her it felt like there was something missing. The hot redhead winked at me as I brushed past. I saw Elise glaring up at me. "What?" I asked, irritated. She wasn't the boss of me.

_Just bend the pieces 'till they fit  
Like they were made for it  
But, they weren't meant for this  
No, they weren't meant for this_

Something didn't feel quite right. I knew something bad was going to happen. Maybe not to me, but to someone I cared about.

I dismissed that thought. I didn't care about Elise, and she was one of the only people I knew at the party. Most of the team had gone home to rest up for the game. They were gone before I'd even arrived.

The party was full of seniors drinking, and swearing, and hooking up.

I looked around the room, and saw a girl with curly caramel hair. She was kissing some emo kid in the corner. My heart started to beat faster, and I clenched my fists. Then they pulled apart, and I exhaled slowly. It wasn't Dana. Thank God.

I know, I know. I was meant to have moved on. Everybody thought I'd forgotten. Elise didn't even know I'd ever cared about Dana. Then again, Elise was an airhead. A moron. Her wit couldn't match Dana's , and whenever I attempted to banter with her, she did her sad face and asked "Are we in a fight? Cause you know I really love you…"

She was pathetic.

And yet I stayed with her. Just because she was the complete opposite to Dana.

I guess a part of me thought that meant she couldn't hurt me.

I realised recently what the real reason was. The real reason she couldn't hurt me:

I didn't give a damn about her.

_Just bend the pieces 'till they fit  
Like they were made for it  
But, they weren't meant for this _

Chasing the ghost of a good thing  
Haunting yourself as the real thing  
It's getting away, away, away, away from you again

She was beginning to get on my nerves too. She kept calling me by my surname. Only Dana was allowed to do that.

That night, she stood with a group of her girlfriends. I was bragging to the girls about how often I worked out- you know, the usual jock crap.

Elise put her hand on my shoulder, and giggling said "Yeah right, Reese". She looked at the girls, rolling her eyes as if to say 'Isn't my boyfriend funny?'.

I don't know what happened to me.

I remember turning to her and shouting "DON'T! Don't call me that!"

She looked more than a little shocked.

"You have no right to call me that, cos you know what, I DON'T LOVE YOU!"

She looked like she was gonna cry.

I didn't care…I stormed off.

_Chasing the ghost of a good thing  
Haunting yourself as the real thing_

Everything felt clearer. I walked calmly upstairs. I could hear a couple in one of the dorms as I walked past. Damn. It was the room my coat was in.

They were obviously drunk. The girl was giggling and I could hear the sound of clothes being discarded. I tapped my foot impatiently, then knocked on the door.

"Can I get my coat?" I yelled.

The noises inside stopped, and Elise's brother Johnny came to the door with my coat.

I gave him a long-suffering glare, but as I turned to go, Johnny's latest conquest came to the door.

She wrapped her arms around him, slurring his name. "Come back to bed baby"

I backed away, confused.

The girl was so familiar.

She had long, straight hair. It was a deep brown, a few tones lighter than Dana's. She looked up at me, and I found myself gazing into a familiar pair of blue eyes.

"Shit! Dana?"

_It's getting away from you again  
While you're chasing ghosts._


	9. You Don't Know What Happened

**I'm really pissed cause i thought this was a Dana and Logan pairing story and it seems that the drama never stops and it's getting too stupid when is there going to be a happy moment for dana and logan. please.tell.me.i'm.not.wasting.my.time!**

_You see this? This is a review i got. Needless to say, i didn't like it. That kinda thing really doesn't inspire me to write, you know. So I wanna say thank you to the nice reviewers. And to the anonymous reviewer who posted the above...Piss off. If you don't like my story...well frankly i don't give a damn._

_The story is Dana/Logan, in case you wondered. This chapter is kinda short...but hey, like i said i was upset. Deal with it._

_Sorry for seeming moody, or pissed off, but i kinda am. And i know that's not your fault... i just really needed to rant._

_The song is Snow Patrol's How To Be Dead._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101, or the characters in it. I don't own How To Be Dead either.

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_

_Chapter 9_

Nobody's POV

_Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth,  
No you don't know what happened  
And you never will if  
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall  
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall _

"Shit! Dana?"

Logan stood there in shock, as the girl he loved grinned lazily at him, wrapped only in Johnny's sheets. Dana squinted at him. "Reese?" She drawled, the drink making the realisation sink in slowly. What the hell had she done?

Logan turned his back, and started walking towards the staircase. Dana tried to go after him, but whatever was in that flask had pretty much destroyed any chance of her chasing him.

Logan looked back up at her in disgust. She was half dressed, and her eyes were glazed over. She was completely out of it.

_She's still beautiful. _Logan mentally kicked himself for that thought. He shot her a look of contempt, then regretted it as her pretty face crumbled. A tear slid down her cheek, and Logan resisted the urge to wipe it away. _She's wasted._ He reminded himself. As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he saw her lose her footing.

Wasted or not, she needed him. He couldn't just leave her... His heart skipped a beat as he went to save her…

Dana's POV

_You've had me for hours  
'Til I'm sure what I want  
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before  
So sweetheart tell me what's up  
I won't stop  
No way _

I… I… I didn't know what to say. When I finally recognised who it was, a mixture of emotions ran through my confused brain. He seemed to visibly break… no, not break. Shatter. That's the word.

_Please keep your hands down  
And stop raising your voice  
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice_

_  
It's a simple suggestion can you give me some time  
So just say yes or no  
Why can't you shoulder the blame  
'Cause both my shoulders are heavy  
From the weight of us both  
You're a big boy now so lets not talk about growth _

I was beginning to think that the whole thing just wasn't worth it. So I tried to go after him. I guess I was a little more wasted than I thought. I lost my footing on the step. Logan went to catch me, but I hit my head on the iron bar of the handrail.

Then BANG. No more dizziness. No pain. No world. Oblivion…

_You've not heard a single word I have said...  
Oh, my god _

Logan's POV

I was scared out of my mind. All that went through my head was a chorus of_ 'You lost the only girl you ever loved.'_

I put my arms around her, holding her tight as if somehow that would make everything ok.

Nobody did anything, and I was scared to move in case I hurt her. Just as I was giving up, her eyes fluttered open.

And suddenly, nothing else mattered. She was OK.

I took her to my dorm and we talked for a while. About everything from Pierre to the crazy Anger Management Lady…and it was nice. She fell asleep curled up in my arms.

I was just glad I'd got there when I did. Nothing happened between her and Johnny. She told me that as soon as she woke up, but she didn't need to. It didn't matter if she did, because she was there with me.

_Please take it easy it can't all be my fault  
I haven't made half the mistakes  
That you've listed so far  
Oh baby let me explain something  
It's all down to drugs  
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else _

_It seems I've stepped over lines  
You've drawn again and again  
But if the ecstasy's in the wit is definitely out  
Dr Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride_

She said something that night that made everything else seem insignificant and pathetic. She said she loved me.

And then she kissed me. It wasn't an angry kiss like before…

It wasn't a nervous kiss like the one we shared back in Paris.

It was a tender kiss, fleeting but sweet.

Then I knew she'd chosen me… after all the confusion and hurt, she chose me. After I was cruel to her, and flirted with half the girls in our class… she chose me.

Then again, I knew she would. After all… she came back, didn't she?


	10. The Welcome Touch of Skin On Skin

Ok, i've done it :D

And no, the drama never stops. Hehe.

Best song to listen to while reading: Rooftops and Invitations- Dashboard Confessional.

Thanks for all of your supportive reviews after the last chapter, they've helped me keep going... not just with this story, but with my Hannah Montana fic and my Dasey oneshot (which yes, is nearly finished, so will be posted before i go away)

I'm going to sunny Spain on the 16th :D

Hopefully this story will be complete by then- there are 12 chapters in total!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoey 101 or Dashboard Confessional (unfortunately, cos they're hot). I do however, own Pierre, and Elise and Johnny Maxwell (the little troublemakers lol)

Ab x

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Chapter 10

Logan's POV

_The first time you looked at her curves you were hooked  
And the glances you took, took hold of you and demanded that you stay  
And sunk in their teeth, bit your heart and released  
Such a charge that you need another touch, another taste, another fix  
_If you'd told me back when the girls started at PCA that I would fall in love with Dana Cruz, I would have laughed in your face. I mean, sure I thought she was hot, and when I first saw her I wanted to have her, make out with her. But that was normal… that's how I felt about a lot of girls. Dana was sexy as hell, but what I feel for her now is more than just a physical attraction. Love isn't a word that people associate with me, and I think sometimes even Dana has a hard time believing that I care as much as I say I do. Then again, Dana's right to have her doubts. I'm not the perfect guy- and hell, I'm too hot to be whipped like Chase. I still smile at other girls, and try and piss Dana off, but I do it all holding her hand so she knows I'm never gonna leave her.

When she's being a bitch I can just look at her and she'll stop… she is still the same Dana that fell in love with, but she's grown up enough to know that just because we're fighting doesn't mean I've stopped loving her.

When she left at the end of our first year, I crumbled. I realised just how much I needed her.

Things are different now. I love her just as much as I always did, but the situation is reversed. Now it's Dana who needs me. She denies it as much as she can, but we both know that she isn't as strong as she once was. Well, physically she still kicks ass, but emotionally, she's a little weaker… I guess that's what getting hurt does to a girl

_  
She just might get you lost  
And she just might leave you torn  
But she just might save your soul  
If she gets you when she gets you any closer_

Johnny Maxwell won't leave her alone. At first, Dana felt guilty because she thought she'd led him on. Then she realised that he was just trying to upset her… and succeeding. He leaves her threatening messages that she thinks I don't know about- not too serious, but not letting her forget. He hates her for running out on him, and for breaking up me and Elise. He hates me for having Dana, and for dumping his sister.

I don't really know what he has in store for me and Dana, I just hope I can protect her from what I'm guessing could be really, really bad. After all, she saved me from Elise. I love her way too much to let Johnny hurt her.

She leads you up, points out skylines and stars, steeple chases in bars  
And took your keys and demanded that you stay  
The city longs well for rooftops and invitations  
All lace in secret places, she moves you to touch with her hands

Having Dana has make this place seemso much more bearable, but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't quite right. I mean, when I'm only with Dana, things are perfect. We sit out under the stars, we explore new things and open up the way I never thought I would with another human being. Unfortunately, PCA is a school full of kids and expectations. I think we're strong enough to survive Johnny's threats, but I can only hope that we're strong enough to forget my past, and my reputation. I'm not gonna hurt Dana… I just hope she can believe that, when she sees the girls throwing themselves at me. I'm hot, I'm used to it. I just feel bad… because there's a part of me that wants to respond. I'm no virgin. Dana knows that. I don't think she's one either. She just wants to wait… and other girls are more than happy to offer to makeup for it. I'd never cheat on Dana… but part of me wonders why she's so scared to get physically close to me. Am I not what she wants?

Um, there's someone at the door. What the hell? It's midnight. Logan journal time. Who on earth could be knocking on my-

_  
And she just might get you lost  
And she just might leave you torn  
But she just might save your soul  
If she gets you when she gets you any closer_

Dana's POV

Dana Cruz is happy.

Yeah, you heard it right. Do you believe me?

No?

Well, you're right not to.

I love Logan, and don't get me wrong, I'd rather die than lose him… but it's really, really hard. See, I've never really opened up to Logan before. I'm used to the banter. Which brings back the ghost of Pierre.

We've never talked about him since that day. I guess we thought it was a good idea not to bring it up- get a clean slate and all. It's just… strange, that's all. Like completely cutting out a major part of my life.

Can you keep a secret?

Well… Pierre was my first. And my only._  
_

From what I can tell, Logan has slept his way through more than a few of the girls on campus already. He's a 16 year old boy, he has urges. I get that.

The thought just… I dunno, terrifies me?

The thought of sleeping with him I mean. Cos I really trusted Pierre, thought I loved him. I thought (stupidly) that he might be my first and my last. That fell through.

How am I supposed to know that that won't happen this time?

_  
Under the cold sheet, where the welcomed touch of skin and skin will meet  
Out on the inside where a girls prize is at the tip of your tongue  
Where every move and each impulse brings clarity  
To stay like this is everything you'll ever need_

Cos God, I want to. I want to so, so bad. When he touches me, I feel alive. Part of me thinks that if we do it, we're gonna want to keep doing it. And today… there's just no guarantee that there won't be consequences. Now, I'm a 21st century girl. I liked sex… I can talk about sex without being embarrassed and I'm not afraid to say the word 'sex' in front of a teacher or my parents. Nicole and Zoey still talk about 'doing it' like the naïve kids they were back when I first joined. I bet Zoey and Chase are waiting til they're married or something. And as for Nicole…well she's fickle. She doesn't have long term relationships. She is so not mature enough for sex.

Then again, I've done some pretty immature things involving sex.

I almost slept with Johnny Maxwell, for crying out loud!

_  
She just might get you lost  
And she just might leave you torn  
But she just might save your soul  
But she gets you any closer_

Speaking of Johnny, he keeps sending me notes. Logan knows… but he doesn't know how bad they've gotten. I swear, one of these days he's gonna hurt someone. I should really do something about it, but come on, I thought it would stop. So what if I wouldn't sleep with the guy? And s what if Logan dumped Elise?

That's no reason to threaten what he's been threatening.

No wonder I'm scared of sex.

Did I really just write that?

I guess I did. Oh… hang on.

There's a note in my journal.

…

Oh my god. And I thought the drama was over.

Can you believe your eyes

Nobody's POV

Dearest Dana

I told you you'd be sorry.

He screwed Elise over.

I'm gonna screw you over.

In more ways than one. Haha.

Basketball Courts, Midnight tonight.

If you don't come…

Let's just say Mr Perfect won't be sleeping with ANYONE for a long, long time.

You know who this is from.


End file.
